Health and healing

I have been having some interesting conversations and finding new information about health and healing the last few years. It has really changed how I view my body and my health. I am in this struggle of desiring to treat my body with the care and concern that God took to create it in the first place. To treat it as the 'temple of the spirit'. But what exactly does that look like? What do I agree or disagree with...regardless of what websites, media, or other people may think of me? I want my family to be healthy and free from disease and toxins. I want to be able to heal myself and my children without man made chemicals. Is that possible? Why not? Didn't God create this world with all that it needed? Isn't he the author and perfector of everything? Just because we put crap into our bodies doesn't mean it's too late to put the things its supposed to have and expect it to heal. Scientists all agree that the body is the most amazing thing ever created so why shouldn't we expect that if we fuel it correctly and treat it as God intended it would do all the things it should or even exceed our expectations. Isn't God's creation always more amazing and transforming than we initially give it credit? Shouldn't we expect that anything God created is essentially perfect? But if we screw it up somehow can't we assume that he has a way to redeem that in his creation...kinda like us and our sin?

Christmastime is near...

Christmas is just around the corner and I am feeling exhausted but not from the usual; have I gotten everyone something and will they like it and have I spent too much. It is from emotions. But I am learning to let God teach me through my emotions. I am learning to let them be what they are and to see them as such. To find the place where I decide if I want to let something make me emotional or if it isn't worth that much effort. Sometimes the enemy is after me to exhaust me so that I am no good to anyone else. What do I do then? I am learning. I must make a choice about my emotions sometimes. As much as I would like to just give in to them all the time. God can use my emotions to teach my children lessons about life. He can use them to teach me about Him and me and the way he has designed me and the way He wants to love and care for me. The Lord is good all the time. Even at Christmas when I am exhausted. Because after all it is about Him and his willingness to put all reasonable things aside and be born a baby in a manger. I love Him for that.

Life is hard.

I hate watching people I love be hurt. I hate watching people I love be consumed by sadness. I hate watching people I love be hurt by other people I love. This weekend was a festival of tears and heartbreaks for me. I knew going in it would be tough, but I knew I wanted to do it. Life is hard and sometimes we just have to decide to go head first anyway. Close your eyes, hold your breath and just go. Hope you don't come out with too horrible of wounds. That is what happened to me this weekend.
The great part was that I was not in the fight alone. I had my husband and my brother at my side. Along with many prayers from those in other places. But also my extended family who was there to talk it out with me and make me see the truth above all else. Life is battle. A battle for survival but also a battle for the high ground where the air is clear and fresh and the view is excellent. I want the high ground. Where I can see the enemy coming from all sides and my people are helping me to stay where I want to be. I don't like to battle but it is what must be done.

My Grandmother...

Grandma and Jack at his first Christmas.

My grandmother Florence Sinclair passed away this weekend. She had just come home from a trip to Cali with most of my extended and extended-extended family. Which is her favorite place to be-in the presence of as many of her family members and she can be. I have been out of sorts all day long thinking about her and pondering what it will be like to go to the Tri-Cities and not ever see her again. She was the pillar in my family. Why? Because she was strong-of course; but I realized mostly because she loved well. She loved every single person in our family and lavished in all the moments she spent with those she loved.
She would do anything for any of us and we all knew it. She did her best to remember and know and love everyone of her 10 children and their spouses, 28? grandchildren (I'm not sure if that is accurate and I don't want to take the time right now and count everyone), and 16? great-grandchildren. I know she did everything for these people that she could.
I know she loved well because I know that her presence will be missed. It will be a long time before we get used to not having her around.
I will use her as an example of how to love my family for the rest of my life. She is the reason why I have one and why I cherish them the way I do. She taught our family how important we all were to each other and how lucky we were to have this family. She taught us by example that we should stay by the side of those that we love. She taught us by example that having a family-no matter how big is a blessing from God and from him alone. She taught us by example the importance of having faith. She taught us by example that caring for the ones you love is not a burden. She taught us by example how to be hospitable. She taught us by example the joy of children. She taught us by example the joy of sharing a meal with people you love even if for no other reason than to just do it and that sometimes that is the best reason of all.
I will miss my Grandma dearly and I know everyone in my family will. She was a light and blessing. Even if she couldn't always remember the names of my kids she wanted to love them. I will forever remember her sitting in the rocking chair holding my precious Lucy and the sheer joy and contentment on her face. She would have given up ten meals to sit there like that with her sleeping on her chest for however long I would have let her. And that is why I will miss her most. Because she loved me well and she loved my kids well. My heart aches today.

Sassy and grumpy

My daughter woke up yesterday in a terrible mood. I mean nasty. She wasn't pleasant about anything. I asked her to get shoes and socks on..."I hate that...I don't need them"...a coat perhaps..."It's not too cold for me". I gave up and we were out the door. But even after food and some down time she was still pissy! I sent her to have a little alone time in the corner and think about changing her attitude and not being so mean to me. She screamed, yelled, cried, and stomped her feet! It was horrible and really, really annoying. I wanted to go slap her. But I didn't. God granted me the serenity I needed to endure her emotional outburst-Hallelujah. I started thinking about this 'moodiness' though; it seems to me that we are so much more tolerant of it in children than adults. Aren't we? I was trying to help my daughter see what was causing her mood but I wasn't really thinking I could snap her out of it. I just wanted her to be less mean to me. But as adults we are so intolerant of bad moods in each other. Why isn't it okay for me to go to the corner and scream and cry and stomp my feet? I have wanted to do that...several times. Why isn't that socially acceptable? Why isn't it okay for me to say, "I need a nap and a snack and then it will be better" like my kids get? I want to be allowed to be in a bad mood sometimes. I know we don't like to be treated poorly by people and I get that, but if my bad mood doesn't interfere with anyone else's day can I just go with it? If I still care for my kids and do the necessities isn't it okay for me to just have a pissy day? Perhaps I will consider this the next time my daughter is in that place.