Assurance

I had an appointment with my midwife yesterday and Casey came and we went over the "birth plan". That was enlightening. So very different than dealing with an OB and a hospital. The thinking is totally opposite and suits me so much better. I left feeling assured that they were going to do only what I wanted and nothing that I didn't. They weren't going to pressure me into anything. But mostly I left feeling like whatever happens they will be with me and keep me focused on the task at hand and doing everything they can to get me to the desired result with as little trauma as possible. I really feel like this will be something amazing but in a whole new way from my other births.

Then this morning I was reading Streams in the Desert and it was about assurance. "He knoweth the way that I take" Job 23:10. The assurance we have that no matter how traumatic or tangled or crooked our way gets...He knows it. His desire is to refine me-to transform my heart, mind, spirit and will to His. That I will be brought forth as gold! The assurance of His hand in my life as I move ever so awkwardly along.

I feel like I am constantly reevaluating my faith and therefore the way I live my life. The constant learning of God's intention for life here for His people. The struggle to do the things that will be hard but in the end will transform me into something beautiful. Like getting married...having kids...four of them...homeschooling...going to a midwife. I told Casey yesterday when he mentioned just feeling blah that I really feel like we are in this weird place of doing all these things that don't look "normal" but we are confident in them because we have assurance that He knows the way.

Yesterdays Streams in the Desert was about our limited view of God's abilities. We are the thing that holds back; not Him. He is boundless and infinite. We just don't ask or seek with enough expectation. I really want to ask and seek with total and complete expectation that He is capable. God rescued my brother-in-law who was gone, broken, angry and resentfull. And He did it through dreams. He can do anything. I just need to remember.

Birthdays and strawberries

Lu turned 2 on the 1st and it was really fun. She can't put up two fingers so she just holds up all her fingers and shakes her first two at you. She was loving the Happy Birthday to you that she was getting at every turn. We had a show of Casey's to go to downtown and everyone kept saying it to her so she starting saying it to everyone else. So cute. She got sunglasses and a tea set. Which she has been playing with and serving "coffee" to people. She has this way of cocking her head when she asks you something that is to die for. Daisy's birthday is Monday and we are trying to gear up for that. It is a lot harder to please a 9 year old...yes I have a 9 year old. It is crazy! Am I old enough for that? It just seems like that is an impossibility.



So does ever having this baby...but we all know eventually he'll come out...one way or another. God help me. I am officially 35 weeks along! I better have 5 weeks max on this gestating thing or I'm gonna come unglued. I think my husband is also sick of my being pregnant. I have tried not to complain too much, but let me just tell you that I can't wait to bend over again. I really have no major issues with being pregnant other than the fact that it just really hinders you physically and I hate that. Although I have had some insanely killer heartburn...thank you small person. So, really I am on the home stretch but I can tell that I am getting anxious because I am picking at and chewing my nails like crazy. I am a little shorter than usual and I am nesting all things. Trying to get some things done before baby comes. We shall see how it goes down this time. I am actually really loving the midwives and the whole process has just been so different this time around already. We (Casey and I) meet with them next week to go over the birthplan. I am looking forward to that. That have given me some great stuff to deal with cramps-leg, heartburn, and just tips in general. I am sold on midwifery!

So, as far as the strawberries part of this post is concerned...I bought the big carton at Costco and we have had crepes, shortcake and Daisy and I have been munching Honey Nut Cheerios with bananas and strawberries on them! Not to mention the occasional one or six here and there. But the crepes are so easy and I had frozen blueberries and so we had those and the strawberries and bananas and chocolate syrup and powdered sugar and maple syrup! Everyone was in Heaven and that carton of strawberries for $6 was a great "treat" for us all! I highly recommend it. By the way shortcake is best with homemade whipped cream which is super easy and way better for you...I'm just saying.