Soap box...

I have become a person obsessed with food.  Not totally like a foodie though.  I do love to eat it and I do love for it to taste good...obviously.  However, in recent years I have learned A LOT about food.  And I just wanted to take a minute and just vent a little...here it goes.

There was a Stanford study done and it reported that organic food was the same as conventional!  Crazy talk!  Conventional foods are covered dare I say infested with chemicals.  They will make you very sick and cause your body to fall apart.  The research is out there and you don't have to look too far.  There is a great website naturalnews.com that can give you complete information about food.  The pesticides on these foods will stay in your body because you can't break them down and then it will start to disrupt what your body needs to do.  So, be careful and look into it.

Also, on the same note California did not pass the GMO bill in November(to label all products with GMO), which I have been wanting to rant about but was keeping my cool.  I can no longer because I just can't believe how many people don't know about this.  Genetically modified food...it means just what it sounds like.  They alter your food in a lab.  Animals that are tested on this stuff die and grow tumors and more and yet they can feed it to us.  The US and Canada are the only two countries that allow GMO.  Corn is the worst offender and you should never buy corn or any corn product that isn't organic.  But again just look into it.  Especially if you have kids.  Their bodies are so vulnerable to these things.  By the way Safeway and Starbucks put money towards defeating the GMO bill...hmmm I wonder why they would do that?

The Christmas season...

We are in it!  I love this time of year. We have made cookies twice but we will make them again.  We went and visited family in Tri-Cities and enjoyed that very much.  We now just need to do some shopping and snowman building. 

This year things are a little different.  We are looking at things a little differently and having some discussions about whether or not we really want to do certain things.  That is always hard.  I have been struggling lately to totally understand some things about people and life.  I have always considered myself a student of people and life.  However, there are just times when things come at you and you respond and then think...wow, where did that come from.

 I have always been a worrier...I come by it genetically from a long line of professional worriers and I think I seem to have a better handle on it from what I have been told than the women that came before me.  But there are just times when you can't fight it anymore and you just have to give in and worry.  Now is one of those times.  I have a lot swirling in me right now and not all is fit for blog-consumption.  But I guess I am writing to maybe alleviate some of  the stress of worrying or to get some thoughts out. 

Have you ever had a relationship that you just couldn't figure out?  I really love being in relationships with people but sometimes I really feel like I do a lot of the 'pursuing'...so to speak.  And in this particular relationship it has always been on me to make it work or fix or continue or whatever and someone mentioned that to me this weekend and I found myself really upset and angry.  Why?  I clearly haven't maybe done all the forgiving I need to.

There actually was a lot of things that happened this weekend that have me up at 12:30 blogging after watching tv, reading, and writing in my journal.  I am tired but just so overwhelmed. Sorry that was a random post.

Busy, busy, busy

We are well on our way into the Christmas season.  We have a fully decorated house.  We have made cookies and done some crafts.  We are slowing down our school load.  We are trying to figure out what to get our kids for Christmas.  We are going to the Nutcracker on Saturday.  It is a good month.  I love this time of year.  We are really enjoying it.  Although I think the kids would love some SNOW!  But I'm perfectly okay if we don't get any for at least another week or so.

Casey is painting furiously for a show coming up that will be at Life Center Church in January...I think. He is also selling prints on Etsy...which is fun.  I am doing school and have just really gotten myself into essential oils.  I have been a believer in what they can do for awhile but have just starting selling them.  So, if you think you want some good ones.  I'm your gal!  I love them and so far we have helped runny noses and cured canker sores, helped people sleep, helped prevent sickness and just enjoyed them.  I am really excited to have them and get more!  I am also trying to "make" some christmas presents...we'll see.  I think I say that every year.

Kids are growing and dancing and arguing...it is terrible and something I am really trying to get them to stop doing.  I just can't take it anymore and don't believe it needs to be part of our lives...so regularly.  I have really been trying to just stop it as soon as it starts and not let it get to me.  I get so worked up when they fight.  I hate that about myself.

Anyway, that is our life right now in a nutshell.

answers

Just in case you ever doubt if God hears you...there is always proof.  You just have to have eyes to see or ears to hear.  That's all it takes.  So, after the last post we had a day or two and I got out a super cute craft for Thanksgiving.  It is a tree with little leaves that you write down something you are thankful for.

So, Jack wrote, "God & Love" on one of his leaves and on the second wrote, "mom and dad".  Made my heart melt.  Lucy when asked didn't really understand what thankful meant but answered candy anyway...oh well.  Then I asked her what else and she said (and I quote), "that mom and dad keep us safe".   Uh HELLO!  She is three remember.  I couldn't believe it.  Then Daisy wrote, "that she has a kind, caring, and sharing family."

It was a precious moment and an answer to my prayer that they would see what I am trying to do here.

Halloween

Halloween was yesterday and the candy take over is today and the next day and the next day...

I hate the fight over candy.  "Can I have a piece,"  all day long from the minute they get up til the minute they go to bed.  Agh.  Oh well.  Jack actually said last night when Casey asked if he wanted to go to a few more houses, "mom won't let me eat it anyway."

Sigh.

Am I bad mom because I won't let my son gorge himself on candy all day?  No.  But it sure feels like it sometimes.  I wish making the hard decisions for my family was easier.  Or I guess I should say I wish when I made the hard decisions for my family they didn't give me such grief about it.  I wish they would say, "thanks mom for thinking of us and caring so much about our health and safety and doing all these hard things so we can grow up to be caring and considerate individuals with great character."
Maybe on my deathbed they'll say it to me...but I am really praying for sooner.

 We have a pirate, a hula dancer and a ballerina...and a dinosaur

  And here are a couple of "keeping it real" (as dear Sara says) photos...Enjoy!

This is in the car on the way home...can you say sugar crash?

Time...

It is precious.  It is a commodity of sorts.  It slips right thru the cracks of my day and soon weeks and soon months.  But mostly I am wanting it to be not just the quantity but the quality...but don't we all?

Time spent well with all that I love.
Time spent pursuing the thing(s) most important of all.
Time given for good causes.
Time to be me.
Time to renew.
Time to regroup.

But the question always remains...do I have that kind of time?  Can I make that kind of time?  Am I even doing any of that right now?  I believe deeply that it is important that I feed my family well and that they live in a place that is clean and creates comfort and peace.  However, am I forfeiting 'time spent well with all that I love' for  the sake of clean counters?  Maybe.  Have I really sat down and talked to my husband today?  No.  How does all this time get away?  Where does it go?  Can I make it  up somehow?

Hank enjoying his first haircut!

Full Throttle

We are going!  We started our homeschool co-op on Monday and dance for Jack monday night.  We are full time into school and Daisy and Lucy had dance today.  So, now that I know that Monday and Tuesday are going to be crazy days hopefully I can plan better.  Also, I think from all the anxiety and anticipation and what not I haven't been sleeping awesome-this is not helping my full time school.  So, we are trying to figure out how to do all of this stuff.  But school was awesome and Daisy and Jack loved it and they all love, love, love dance.  Jack is in hip hop-hilarious.  Lucy is in pre-ballet.  She told me she loved me so much afterward and also that it was, "fun, fun, fun".  Love to see the smiling faces.

Do This!

My son just recently asked me if I would rearrange his room.  I wasn't sure if I could because they have a bed, two dressers, a train set that is ginormous, and a crib in there.  But they were all gone one day so I thought I would give it a try.  I LOVE to rearrange things.  I do it whenever I can.  It makes my house feel fresh and a little new.  Anyway, you should try it because not only did they all get a kick out of it but I was able to deep clean the whole thing.  Wiped down the trim along the floor and got all those pesky dust bunnies!  It isn't the best set up probably but it is clean and that feels awesome.  I highly recommend it!

The well-planned life

If we are honest with ourselves how much our lives go like we plan...maybe if you're lucky 50%?  I mean really.  You make plans, you strive for things, but in the end it never seems to go the way you were planning and striving for when you started.  Sure, things may still end up fine or maybe even better than you hoped.  But still it isn't what you envisioned when you started.  There is the ever popular "glad I didn't marry that guy" or the "getting fired from that job was a huge blessing".  Fill in your blank as you will but we all have them.  I have been looking at my life lately and how does it compare to what I 'planned' it to be or thought it would be like.  It is different.  It is good but different.  It always takes some sort of turn to get us to evaluate where we are.  Why can't we do that when things are fine or we feel good?  Probably because we don't want to concede anything.  Comfort is high on our list of priorities.  Even if we don't want to admit it.

My grandpa, who is 91, is in the hospital. He probably won't leave the hospital anytime soon and he probably won't go home if he does leave.  He told me that he strongly believes that God determines the number of days you get and he feels very lucky that he got to have this many.  He was in WWII and saw a lot of men die (and killed many also).  He knows how precious life is because anyone of those men being shot right next to him could have been him.  I wish all people had this view of life. Not every day is a given.  Not every day is owed to you.  Time is short and if you're lucky you'll get to be 91 and live in your own house and be mobile enough to not have anyone take you to the bathroom.

Our deck is great!

Casey tore down the steps that led from our back slider several years ago.  And the current deck has been all those years in the making.  The deck itself went up right away, however, it didn't have a railing for a year.  Then the railing and either later that same year or the next year it got a roof.  And in the last couple of years it really has just gotten more 'cosmetic' enhancements.  So, we have this deck and the kids really like to play on it.  As you can see from this photo of my smallest human standing on a table ringing the wind chimes.  Below are the items that I fished out of those beautiful plants along the deck in the above photo.

When I showed Casey these items he said, "that's where that spatula went!"  Which I had also been wondering.  Not sure why there is a winter glove there either but that is the mystery of having small children.  You just never know what you are going to get!  Garbage I totally expected but bracelets and  socks!  I was also looking for those cup lids too.  Now I know I have to go through those plants like every other week to find all the things we're missing.  This is a photo of Lucy playing her "guitar".  Not related to my items fished from plants but super cute nonetheless.

Sunriver

We made it! We had a great time and LOVED Sunriver.  It was so relaxing, actually.  We had a hot tub on our deck and bicycles and a king sized bed!:)  Our house was perfect and we really needed all the space we had.  For 8 days it just is too hard to work around having no space.  We had loved ones close by and the kids loved going 'across the street' to visit cousins.  We swam, played at the park, rode bikes and scooters, ate food, watched cable tv, and just generally were on vacation!  Sadly, I have not a single picture from the whole week.  However, my cousin who is a fabulous photographer took some great shots of my kids and I will be getting those.  So, he totally saved my bacon.  The other unfortunate event is that we came home with hand, foot, mouth...yuck!  It has been a long week of recovery but we are better now and hopeful to join the world again.  Love seeing my family and just sharing in some really special times with them.  My cousin whose Dad died about 2 years ago read a poem she wrote about her brothers that basically had our whole family bawling.  It was so beautiful.  Then they mentioned my mom later and I started to cry and she came over and hugged me and then I started to cry even harder.  But we had a great talk and it is probably a highlight for me.  Also, my 92 year old great uncle kept mentioning how great of a job Casey did in drawing his parents on the shirt and that was so sweet...and made me cry.  Also, we changed the words and sang 'we'll follow the old man' from White Christmas to him.  It was dear and made me cry.  So, in summary, I had fun and cried the whole week!

Also, we went for our first family bike ride yesterday!   Yeah! Jack finally is on a 2 wheel with training wheels and I have two small kids who fit in the trailer!  It was fun and everyone is looking forward to doing it again soon.  Maybe today!

First fruits

These are the first fruits from our yard this year!  We love having fresh things to pick.  I love not having to worry about what kind of toxic and deadly poison has been sprayed on them.  They are very yummy.  Maybe some day I'll have enough room for a lot more so that I can actually pick enough to give everyone more than 3!

Comparison

These are my two boys at about the same age.  I don't know what you think but both are super cute and I don't seem to see the striking resemblence that every one else sees.

Cannon Beach

Put another one in the books.  Trip #2 is complete.  The washing machine is running, my car smells like a port-a-potty, and everyone is still exhausted.  However, after 1000 miles and four days I think I can say the kids had a great time.  The adults I'm afraid didn't fare as well.  Just being honest.  Casey was painting and it didn't go like he hoped.
We were in a nice place it was just really small and that is always hard when you have 6 people for four days and their isn't really any place for people to get some space from each other.  However, the time we spent down at the beach was great.
They just wanted to be at the beach the whole time and when it is pouring rain that isn't really doable.  Also, walking the shops isn't their idea of a good time and honestly taking them isn't mine either.  So, with a sick 1 year old and naps to be taken we did spend more time in our our "house" than any of us wanted to.  But the sky opened up on Saturday afternoon after raining cats and dogs all morning until about 12 and we skipped naps and stayed at the beach.  It was good and everyone needed it.  All in all I am glad that we went and the kids got to collect shells and jump in the ocean.  We got to put our science to use from this year and studied the barnacles, clams, sea stars, and other aquatic life in the tide pool below Haystack rock.  That was great!  The kids loved it and really put life to their science, which is always a winner.
I think the hard part for Casey and I was managing everyone and being in such close proximity for so many days at a time.  I think he was glad to get away from us all today!  I got stressed out because I totally underpacked, which never happens to me.  I forgot a lot of the food I was going to bring to cut down costs and that got me really frustrated and in turn made me a little cranky.  Casey and I each had our own burdens for the weekend and didn't always handle them well.  I stayed up late watching HGTV and TLC and he went to sleep as soon as or before the kids were in bed.

 He looks thrilled to be there doesn't he?

 They are saying, "The Beach!"

 Nothing like some nice warm sand!  Hank kept laying down and putting the side of his face on the sand...and also licking it.

Now we stare down the barrel of an 8 day trip to Bend Oregon for my family reunion.  Let me just say that I am checking for washer and dryer and the packing will be different and I am going to try to just let things go if they don't work out.  And I am really glad our house is a lot bigger.  Casey will have his own space and so will the kids and Jordan is staying with us but I believe we will be far better off this time around.  Plus, the drive isn't quite as long.

Success!

This is how I measure a successful day.  I got everyone fed-all day.  I did a couple of loads of laundry.  It is the end of the day and my house isn't a bomb and all my kids, except one, are in bed.  They are clean, including their ears, and fingernails and toenails clipped.  Oh yeah, and my kitchen is clean!  Yesss.  Now that is a successful day.

June is coming...

I have made it through most of the birthdays in the house...we just have Jack left. We are anticipating the arrival of our new nephew/cousin any day! We are on our last week of school and SO grateful for that. Things are winding down or up I'm not really sure. We have a big family reunion coming up but before that we have the wedding and we also added a trip to the Oregon Coast for June! Casey is going to be doing some art stuff down there and we are super-excited about that opportunity! I am very hopeful that it will be something that opens some other doors and that brings him some cosistent income. But that remains to be seen. We will just continue to hope and pray that it is worthwhile and that God does have a plan for Casey in his art. Even though we aren't really sure what that is yet.

 On the flip of those fun things some people we dearly love are struggling and that is always really hard. But it is very close to me this time. I really feel like I got set up by God...do you know what I mean? That so many things just lead me right into this. That God was growing in me and preparing me and my heart for service to these people. That maybe my burden for them is because he had lined all this up ahead of time. I am just really hopeful that in all of this I can do what I need to. That I really can be of service to them and to their hurt. That we can connect and I can be used to help. I have realized in the last couple of days, though, just how critical hope is to our souls. You have to have it. If you don't have hope than what do you have? You probably live in a really sad and dark place. Hope is critical for life.

 Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

 Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Quick update...

My life has been a little crazy and I am hopeful for summer laziness...cause that is what people like me want most in the world-justified laziness! But in the meantime I am excited to say that my dear friend Sara has had her baby and we (me, lucy and Hank) will be headed to Lake Stevens for a few days in a week or so. Also, we are almost finished with school for the year and wrapping up 4th grade and kindergarten. Jack can read and is playing soccer and scored his first goal today! Daisy is flew through fractions and is pretty well a hold of multiplication and division. They could tell you most anything about anything that lives in the water and Daisy is ending the year by doing a large report and presentation on George Washington-her pick-who knew! Lucy is a handful to say the least. She keeps me on my toes and is constantly checking to see who is in charge of this operation me or her. She won't let anybody do anything for her except me and she loves to kiss her "Hank the Tank the Dank". She is also constantly talking about her debut as the flower girl of my cousin Emily's wedding in a month. She thinks everyone we know will be there to watch her. Can you say 'self-centered'? Hank is walking like crazy and eating like crazy and we are all getting a huge bang out of how much more he walks every day. He will be one in just 11 days! How did that happen I do not know but I am thrilled with him every day. Having kids is a blessing and watching them grow and discover just blesses my soul constantly.

Jack

My son is precious to me. He is my first born son. But really he just has this way about him. He has really started reading a ton and picking up books and reading them without much assistance or asking to be read to. He really is getting it and he read ALL of Green Eggs and Ham to Casey last night! This morning he came out and sat next to me on the couch and said, "I love this book." It is so unbelievable when things like that happen with your kids. I can't believe how different it has been teaching him to read than Daisy. And yet equally satisfying. They both had their own journey to take with the reading but I believe he will be just as avid of a reader as her.

Anyway...he was washing windows yesterday, which is one of his chores, and he was singing because he is always singing. Then he came to me and asked if I wanted to hear his song. I said yes, of course. It was called God's Chore and it had some slight variations between the couple of times he sang it to me and the time he sang it for Casey when he came home. The main gist was that God's chore was to clean up our hearts of the bad and make them clean and good. That he was the strongest and best. Oh how my heart ached at his voice singing that to me...reminding me. Casey told him professional songwriters hadn't put it so well:)

Spring!!!

We have had some sun these last few days. It is like getting a spiritual awakening to see the sun after so many days of not. I feel like I can breath and that life has meaning again. It is so silly but you really start to think that it will be winter for-ever. It will never end and you will be cold and miserable and depressed for the rest of your life. And all I can think of is going to Hawaii again to get out of this sun-forsaken place. But alas the sun shines again and we all run outside! Actually, that is the best part. My home seems so much roomier when children play outside part of the day. We don't start tripping over each other and getting so annoyed with every little thing. It is so frustrating. I think we all breath a little easier when the temperature goes over 50 and the sun is out. I know 50 seems cold but really it is like super nice if you really think about what it has been like. I even put away all the snow boots and pants. I am willing it to just get warmer.

But seriously, I love this time of year. When things get to be 'new' again. It is such a blessed time of remembering that creation-all of it-including people-have a cycle. There are low/cold/barren/lonely/dark times and there are happy/bright/fun/adventerous/warm times. And the times in between. Why do we forget? Because we just lose our focus on the big picture. That it will come around again. Spring is such a good reminder to me that ALL THINGS are made new...again. The sun will come out and warm the earth again. Just wait...you'll see.

Things are happening and not all at the same time...

I feel like my life is shifting and yet really nothing is happening. I mean we did start going to another church. Which we love and get great things from. We did start more seriously looking for a new house. We aren't really 'searching' really. More just browsing to see what is out there and what we could get for our price range. But not kicking into high gear to fix everything this month and put it on the market or any of that business.

I am coming up on birthday season at our house. Next month Lucy will be 3 and Daisy 10! It is insane to me that number but here we are. It is like a speed train headed for no-mans-land. Hank will turn 1 and I will be 33 in May. And Jack will end our birthday extravaganza with a 6th birthday in June. Whew! It is so fun and I am looking forward to birthdays. I love them. But we are also nearing the end of another school year. Jack is reading and Daisy is still just chugging along. Although I am a little dismayed that we are only on chapter 8 of science and the year is only a couple months away from being over. But we did dissect a frog and we will be dissecting a clam and a craw fish shortly. Daisy was very nervous about the whole thing and Jack just dove right in. Asked for the knife...I mean scalpel and cut away. Daisy got into it later and dug around in the fish for about a half hour. It was pretty cool to see them go for something that I didn't do until high school.

Also, my sister-in-law is having a baby in June that I can hardly wait for. I am just about to jump out of my skin with anticipation for her. And my beloved friend Sara is due in April so I am gearing up to make a journey westward to do my best to aid in her transition into the world of being outnumbered...it is a beautiful thing to have a lap full of children. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I also can't wait for this either because I don't know if it is a boy or girl (neither does Sara). I just can't wait.

I am still adjusting to having four kids and trying to make all of this work on our budget and have my bro live with us. It has been really fun to have him here and the kids love it. They love going to his room for dance parties and when he has treats hidden in his room. Gotta love a good uncle who knows you like a good Spiderman/Princess fruit snack every once in a while. And I finally got Miss Lucy to do pee on the potty!!!! YEAH. We are still working on it but while at home she is doing the no nothing routine to work on letting me know when she needs to go. So, hopefully by summer we will have this whole thing totally worked out and be done with diapers....I can't wait!

Anyway, that is my things are happening but not really happening blog post. If you haven't already you should look at my friend Jackie's newest post of Samoa waffles...gluttonous, just gluttonous.

Hank the Tank

Yes, he is licking the window.


My little guy is now 9 months old! I can't believe how the time has flown and how few pictures of him I have taken. It is really sad. But I tried to make up for it today and took about 12 in one little sitting. Anywho, he is precious and I love him to bits. He is having a hard time going to sleep these days but we are working our way through it. He is much more high maintenance they my other babes.
So, he crawls like a champ and has almost gone the stairs twice. And he loves to pull himself up on chairs and things. He especially loves to crawl under the table and pull himself up underneath it!
It is a challenge to be a mom of four and homeschool. I am really being stretched and learning a lot about myself as a person and a parent. Parenting is really intentional. I can't do this half-assed and have it come out all right. I recently realized that I have spent my whole life being 'pushed in' and told to sink or swim. I am really tired of that. I really want to be shown and taught how to parent and raise these little women and little men into big ones. Things are changing in me and how I mother my kidlets. I am grateful for that. I am learning and watching some really excellent women. I feel less frantic I think right now. I am hopeful that my children will grow up into the people I always hoped they would become. My kids are great right now but I want them to be great later too. I know they will have flaws...I just hope they are capable of seeing them and dealing with them and desiring to be great, humble, caring, compassionate, loving, kind, generous, selfless people.
Is that too much to ask?

Drama and thanksgiving

I was given several books for Christmas and so far all of them are excellent. Very, very different but excellent. Here is what I am learning about my life and I think most people's lives. There will always be drama. If you aren't creating it, your kids are creating it, someone in your extended family is creating it, a friend is creating it or your just a part of it by chance. And so how do we respond to these little flashes of confusion or chaos in our lives? I am learning that I hardly ever give thanks for these little gems in my life. I usually whine or get angry. I complain and wonder why it just won't go away. Why now? Why this person? What do I have to do now? I just want to throw up my hands and say, "forget it-I'm out". But what if I gave thanks for the opportunity to grow or see life differently or...God forbid learn something about myself or other people. To see myself or God or this person the way God sees them or created them to truly be. To embrace this opportunity by giving thanks for it and taking it gratefully.

So unbelievably difficult.

Education

So, as we begin again with school I am rethinking...again what we do and why we do it. I believe in what I am doing as a homeschooling mom. I believe that I am providing the very best of all the options when it comes to education for my kids. I wouldn't say that I totally believed that when I started or even finished that first year of homeschooling Daisy. It has come with each passing year that I look at it with more and more confidence and great humility.
My friend Tanya gave me a book for Christmas entitled "A Thomas Jefferson Education." So far it is excellent. I think most people know how well read and intelligent and educated Thomas Jefferson was but the real question is how did this happen? This book so far is giving me an even greater focus and desire to educate my children differently. I am so hopeful that as I read this book I can change and implement what it has to offer.

"As students become familiar with and eventually conversant with the great ideas of humanity, they learn how to think, how to lead, and how to become great. The classics, by introducing the young mind to the greatest achievements of mankind and the spiritual teachings of inspired individuals, prepare children to become successful human beings, parents and leaders in their own time." Oliver DeMille-author of the book.

Lord Brougham said, "Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern, but impossible to enslave."

Just as a little test of my own I got out some Longfellow and Emerson poetry and read it to my kids today. They were about snowstorms and snowflakes. They were not easy poems. They were beautiful. My kids and I talked about what they meant and what we saw in our heads while we were reading and all the great things about each one. Even Jack managed to get out of one that it was about the first snow falling or "tinkling" to the ground. It was awesome and Daisy even asked it she could learn more about Ralph Waldo Emerson sometime. That is so why I am doing this. So, I can see the lights turn on and be the one who introduces them to amazing people, places, things, and ideas. So I can read Longfellow and Emerson to my 5 and 9 year old and they don't have to wait until they are in college or maybe never. Which is unfortunate for those people.