Mother/teacher...

So, things are better and I am trying to get back on track. Homeschooling can be such a burden at times to me alone. I fight with myself about the right things to do and the right way to do it. Making sure that we are accomplishing things and that she is learning something...anything. I have gotten very bogged down with my task as mother/teacher/homemaker recently and find it very difficult to get out of easily. There are some places I go mentally that I have no problem 'popping out of' but this is not one of them.

I was on the internet the other night searching, searching, searching for websites and activities to help me improve Daisy's interaction with the material. it is tough. It would be so much easier to give her to someone else for teaching and instruction...yet I know that is my job and I am called to it. And she would struggle and struggle mightily. I don't know where Jack would fall in the public school system; I only know that I'll never know unless I'm forced.

After a great weekend with seeing my sister-in-law in Priest River for an undefined and casual chunk of time I got some inspiration. She has a Kindergarten aged boy and preschool aged girl. She had some great books and gave me some great encouragement and I realized I needed to be WAY more purposeful with my son. It has been amazing the result. Not only does he love to do things but it has really minimized his distraction to Daisy. All that to say that I am on my way to adjusting yet again my homeschool life and the kids in it. I am hopeful for the day when I don't feel quite so limited in my ability to do this, despite a teaching certificate!

All I know is that I am to train my children in the way they should go.

Fall air

The fall is upon us and maybe that is the reason for my exhaustion. Or it could be my early mornings from my son climbing into my bed or from Daisy puking and pooping her guts up at 4:30am? Daisy has been ill...I mean ill...since Sunday morning. It is horrible and she looks it. I think we are turning around today but it has really turned the tables on my days. It is exhausting being up with sick kids. Also, Daisy looks at me with the wild eyes and says, "I'm gonna throw up!" so I say okay go ahead and she continues to ask my permission to puke; what is that? Just do what you gotta do! Bizare. Anyway, I am also on day 9 of literally no hubby around either, which isn't helping my mental status. I was so exhausted last night I couldn't go to sleep. Feeling crappy about my body too; in case I didn't have enough stress I thought I would just add more to myself. Why? Why, do I do that?

Anyway, there is my current status-tired, feeling the 5-10 extra pounds, sick kid, no husband around. Maybe today will be a better day?

Anniversay and other thoughts...

It has been nine years...nine years...I wouldn't say they were totally blissful because well...they weren't all blissful. However, I sit here so very, very grateful for my husband and the man he is. He is kind and compassionate and he loves the crap out of me and our kids. As my uncle told me this last weekend, " you know the thing I like about Casey is he isn't lazy." Which translated means he will do whatever it takes to take care of us. That is a wonderful feeling. I love my husband and can't wait for nineteen more years.

Just the other day as he was introducing me to yet another artist he has discovered named Thad Cockrell...I think that is the spelling. He is really awesome and you should totally check him out. Casey told me he finally found our song. I was perplexed as to why he was using the word finally...I didn't really know we were searching...but anyway he sings a song called 'Beauty has a name'. It is really great to be able to listen to a song like that and know that my husband feels that way about me and not wish my husband felt that way about me.

I have learned a few things in my time of being married. One, is that when woman ask their husbands to do something or to help them in some way it means right now. Husbands hear when you have a minute...we don't have a minute that is why we are asking your help and if you don't help right now by the time I'm done with this I'll be able to do it myself. That is a very tricky game in the marriage world. Second, as I said to my friend Sara a few years back; his crap all over the living room is directly corrolated to sex...he just can't seem to figure that out. Third, Jesus is the only way to stay in a marriage and have it be about the other person. You can't do it when your just two humans trying to live together. Too much stuff never gets peeled off.

We celebrated with our kids having dinner and enjoying the new found bliss that is my new BBQ! Which was my anniversay gift; my husband is an excellent gift-giver. I grilled really nice steaks and onions and hotdogs for the kids. We had a great dinner and then put everyone to bed and watched Masterchef. It isn't the most exciting or romantic but I had a great time. I got roses too!