The Christmas season...

We are in it!  I love this time of year. We have made cookies twice but we will make them again.  We went and visited family in Tri-Cities and enjoyed that very much.  We now just need to do some shopping and snowman building. 

This year things are a little different.  We are looking at things a little differently and having some discussions about whether or not we really want to do certain things.  That is always hard.  I have been struggling lately to totally understand some things about people and life.  I have always considered myself a student of people and life.  However, there are just times when things come at you and you respond and then think...wow, where did that come from.

 I have always been a worrier...I come by it genetically from a long line of professional worriers and I think I seem to have a better handle on it from what I have been told than the women that came before me.  But there are just times when you can't fight it anymore and you just have to give in and worry.  Now is one of those times.  I have a lot swirling in me right now and not all is fit for blog-consumption.  But I guess I am writing to maybe alleviate some of  the stress of worrying or to get some thoughts out. 

Have you ever had a relationship that you just couldn't figure out?  I really love being in relationships with people but sometimes I really feel like I do a lot of the 'pursuing'...so to speak.  And in this particular relationship it has always been on me to make it work or fix or continue or whatever and someone mentioned that to me this weekend and I found myself really upset and angry.  Why?  I clearly haven't maybe done all the forgiving I need to.

There actually was a lot of things that happened this weekend that have me up at 12:30 blogging after watching tv, reading, and writing in my journal.  I am tired but just so overwhelmed. Sorry that was a random post.

Busy, busy, busy

We are well on our way into the Christmas season.  We have a fully decorated house.  We have made cookies and done some crafts.  We are slowing down our school load.  We are trying to figure out what to get our kids for Christmas.  We are going to the Nutcracker on Saturday.  It is a good month.  I love this time of year.  We are really enjoying it.  Although I think the kids would love some SNOW!  But I'm perfectly okay if we don't get any for at least another week or so.

Casey is painting furiously for a show coming up that will be at Life Center Church in January...I think. He is also selling prints on Etsy...which is fun.  I am doing school and have just really gotten myself into essential oils.  I have been a believer in what they can do for awhile but have just starting selling them.  So, if you think you want some good ones.  I'm your gal!  I love them and so far we have helped runny noses and cured canker sores, helped people sleep, helped prevent sickness and just enjoyed them.  I am really excited to have them and get more!  I am also trying to "make" some christmas presents...we'll see.  I think I say that every year.

Kids are growing and dancing and arguing...it is terrible and something I am really trying to get them to stop doing.  I just can't take it anymore and don't believe it needs to be part of our lives...so regularly.  I have really been trying to just stop it as soon as it starts and not let it get to me.  I get so worked up when they fight.  I hate that about myself.

Anyway, that is our life right now in a nutshell.

answers

Just in case you ever doubt if God hears you...there is always proof.  You just have to have eyes to see or ears to hear.  That's all it takes.  So, after the last post we had a day or two and I got out a super cute craft for Thanksgiving.  It is a tree with little leaves that you write down something you are thankful for.

So, Jack wrote, "God & Love" on one of his leaves and on the second wrote, "mom and dad".  Made my heart melt.  Lucy when asked didn't really understand what thankful meant but answered candy anyway...oh well.  Then I asked her what else and she said (and I quote), "that mom and dad keep us safe".   Uh HELLO!  She is three remember.  I couldn't believe it.  Then Daisy wrote, "that she has a kind, caring, and sharing family."

It was a precious moment and an answer to my prayer that they would see what I am trying to do here.

Halloween

Halloween was yesterday and the candy take over is today and the next day and the next day...

I hate the fight over candy.  "Can I have a piece,"  all day long from the minute they get up til the minute they go to bed.  Agh.  Oh well.  Jack actually said last night when Casey asked if he wanted to go to a few more houses, "mom won't let me eat it anyway."

Sigh.

Am I bad mom because I won't let my son gorge himself on candy all day?  No.  But it sure feels like it sometimes.  I wish making the hard decisions for my family was easier.  Or I guess I should say I wish when I made the hard decisions for my family they didn't give me such grief about it.  I wish they would say, "thanks mom for thinking of us and caring so much about our health and safety and doing all these hard things so we can grow up to be caring and considerate individuals with great character."
Maybe on my deathbed they'll say it to me...but I am really praying for sooner.

 We have a pirate, a hula dancer and a ballerina...and a dinosaur

  And here are a couple of "keeping it real" (as dear Sara says) photos...Enjoy!

This is in the car on the way home...can you say sugar crash?

Time...

It is precious.  It is a commodity of sorts.  It slips right thru the cracks of my day and soon weeks and soon months.  But mostly I am wanting it to be not just the quantity but the quality...but don't we all?

Time spent well with all that I love.
Time spent pursuing the thing(s) most important of all.
Time given for good causes.
Time to be me.
Time to renew.
Time to regroup.

But the question always remains...do I have that kind of time?  Can I make that kind of time?  Am I even doing any of that right now?  I believe deeply that it is important that I feed my family well and that they live in a place that is clean and creates comfort and peace.  However, am I forfeiting 'time spent well with all that I love' for  the sake of clean counters?  Maybe.  Have I really sat down and talked to my husband today?  No.  How does all this time get away?  Where does it go?  Can I make it  up somehow?

Hank enjoying his first haircut!

Full Throttle

We are going!  We started our homeschool co-op on Monday and dance for Jack monday night.  We are full time into school and Daisy and Lucy had dance today.  So, now that I know that Monday and Tuesday are going to be crazy days hopefully I can plan better.  Also, I think from all the anxiety and anticipation and what not I haven't been sleeping awesome-this is not helping my full time school.  So, we are trying to figure out how to do all of this stuff.  But school was awesome and Daisy and Jack loved it and they all love, love, love dance.  Jack is in hip hop-hilarious.  Lucy is in pre-ballet.  She told me she loved me so much afterward and also that it was, "fun, fun, fun".  Love to see the smiling faces.

Do This!

My son just recently asked me if I would rearrange his room.  I wasn't sure if I could because they have a bed, two dressers, a train set that is ginormous, and a crib in there.  But they were all gone one day so I thought I would give it a try.  I LOVE to rearrange things.  I do it whenever I can.  It makes my house feel fresh and a little new.  Anyway, you should try it because not only did they all get a kick out of it but I was able to deep clean the whole thing.  Wiped down the trim along the floor and got all those pesky dust bunnies!  It isn't the best set up probably but it is clean and that feels awesome.  I highly recommend it!

The well-planned life

If we are honest with ourselves how much our lives go like we plan...maybe if you're lucky 50%?  I mean really.  You make plans, you strive for things, but in the end it never seems to go the way you were planning and striving for when you started.  Sure, things may still end up fine or maybe even better than you hoped.  But still it isn't what you envisioned when you started.  There is the ever popular "glad I didn't marry that guy" or the "getting fired from that job was a huge blessing".  Fill in your blank as you will but we all have them.  I have been looking at my life lately and how does it compare to what I 'planned' it to be or thought it would be like.  It is different.  It is good but different.  It always takes some sort of turn to get us to evaluate where we are.  Why can't we do that when things are fine or we feel good?  Probably because we don't want to concede anything.  Comfort is high on our list of priorities.  Even if we don't want to admit it.

My grandpa, who is 91, is in the hospital. He probably won't leave the hospital anytime soon and he probably won't go home if he does leave.  He told me that he strongly believes that God determines the number of days you get and he feels very lucky that he got to have this many.  He was in WWII and saw a lot of men die (and killed many also).  He knows how precious life is because anyone of those men being shot right next to him could have been him.  I wish all people had this view of life. Not every day is a given.  Not every day is owed to you.  Time is short and if you're lucky you'll get to be 91 and live in your own house and be mobile enough to not have anyone take you to the bathroom.

Our deck is great!

Casey tore down the steps that led from our back slider several years ago.  And the current deck has been all those years in the making.  The deck itself went up right away, however, it didn't have a railing for a year.  Then the railing and either later that same year or the next year it got a roof.  And in the last couple of years it really has just gotten more 'cosmetic' enhancements.  So, we have this deck and the kids really like to play on it.  As you can see from this photo of my smallest human standing on a table ringing the wind chimes.  Below are the items that I fished out of those beautiful plants along the deck in the above photo.

When I showed Casey these items he said, "that's where that spatula went!"  Which I had also been wondering.  Not sure why there is a winter glove there either but that is the mystery of having small children.  You just never know what you are going to get!  Garbage I totally expected but bracelets and  socks!  I was also looking for those cup lids too.  Now I know I have to go through those plants like every other week to find all the things we're missing.  This is a photo of Lucy playing her "guitar".  Not related to my items fished from plants but super cute nonetheless.

Sunriver

We made it! We had a great time and LOVED Sunriver.  It was so relaxing, actually.  We had a hot tub on our deck and bicycles and a king sized bed!:)  Our house was perfect and we really needed all the space we had.  For 8 days it just is too hard to work around having no space.  We had loved ones close by and the kids loved going 'across the street' to visit cousins.  We swam, played at the park, rode bikes and scooters, ate food, watched cable tv, and just generally were on vacation!  Sadly, I have not a single picture from the whole week.  However, my cousin who is a fabulous photographer took some great shots of my kids and I will be getting those.  So, he totally saved my bacon.  The other unfortunate event is that we came home with hand, foot, mouth...yuck!  It has been a long week of recovery but we are better now and hopeful to join the world again.  Love seeing my family and just sharing in some really special times with them.  My cousin whose Dad died about 2 years ago read a poem she wrote about her brothers that basically had our whole family bawling.  It was so beautiful.  Then they mentioned my mom later and I started to cry and she came over and hugged me and then I started to cry even harder.  But we had a great talk and it is probably a highlight for me.  Also, my 92 year old great uncle kept mentioning how great of a job Casey did in drawing his parents on the shirt and that was so sweet...and made me cry.  Also, we changed the words and sang 'we'll follow the old man' from White Christmas to him.  It was dear and made me cry.  So, in summary, I had fun and cried the whole week!

Also, we went for our first family bike ride yesterday!   Yeah! Jack finally is on a 2 wheel with training wheels and I have two small kids who fit in the trailer!  It was fun and everyone is looking forward to doing it again soon.  Maybe today!